Thoughts on Leadership: Leadership Lessons from Tom Ferry

By Gino Blefari

This week my travels found me in Napa, California at the Tom Ferry Team Legacy Retreat. From Sunday through Wednesday, participants networked, challenged themselves, learned and found inspiration from Tom’s words of wisdom and through collaborating and sharing stories with each other. I probably took more notes than anyone in the room because my goal for the retreat was to learn from the people in the room who have boots-on-the-ground knowledge and figure out how I could use my experience to help the group get to another level of success.

 Today, as I write this, I’m preparing to attend the Intero Honors 2021 Production Award Celebration in San Jose, California.

But for today’s post, let’s return to wine country and the teachings of Tom Ferry.

Tom has been a great friend, mentor, and coach of mine for years. We first met when Tom was 19 years old. He cold called me as a top-producing real estate agent to sell me a ticket to a Mike Ferry Superstar Retreat. We’ve been friends ever since.

There’s a reason Tom has such esteem in the industry; his leadership skills are extraordinary, and each day, maybe even each hour or each minute, he’s passing along what he knows to help others succeed. One of the things I really like about Tom is that he’s incredibly relevant. He’s not teaching old knowledge repeatedly; he’s always looking for something new, something fresh, something that will enrich people’s businesses and lives in a way nothing has before. It’s the very definition of a forward-thinking leader. Here are a few of his most recent (and valuable) takeaways:

Believe in yourself, achieve more every time. Tom recorded a podcast with therapist John Jolliffe and during the episode, Jolliffe said: “All people have as much self-confidence as everybody else. That’s the truth … but there’s two types. There’s negative self-confidence and positive self-confidence. People with negative self-confidence have trouble reaching their Wildly Important Goals because they simply don’t believe they can. Or, they’re too fearful to begin the process of making it happen because yet again, they don’t believe they can. Leaders with the exact same amount of confidence – only this time it’s positive – achieve their goals because they see nothing as impossible. Guided by optimism and their strong belief in themselves and their capabilities, they tackle tasks with confidence and get it done. Tom says one way to gain confidence is to recite daily affirmations and I agree. I’ve been reciting a passage from Og Mandino’s “The Seeds of Success” as part of my morning routine for the past three decades. Read the affirmation in full here.

Harness the power of accountability. I’m a big fan of accountability partners and Tom is, too but there are many ways to harness the power of accountability. Tom says you can: announce publicly that if you don’t do something you’ll write a check to an organization or person you wouldn’t typically support; schedule a quick touch-base call with a colleague every morning to review your commitments; hold a contest where those who are at the bottom of the scoreboard have to organize an event or dinner for those who win; share your goals with another leader and ask them to check in on you periodically to track your progress; involve your friends or family in the process, (for example, if you don’t generate X number of leads per month, you give your kids $50); or you could hire a coach.

Analyze your closest friendships. Tom says as an 18-year-old he had an epiphany after his dad came to visit his apartment and told him, “We become like the people we spend the most time with.” There are three kinds of people in the world: positive, neutral, and negative. The positive people are those who will pick you up when you’re down. They are the people committed to perpetual improvement, accomplishing their goals and forward momentum. Neutral people are just that – they won’t react in any kind of positive or negative way to the circumstances around them. “Want to go do this?” Sure, they’d say. They’re fine with whatever. They’re neutral. And finally, the negative people. Those who will drag you down or are constantly pessimistic and won’t ever elevate your state of mind. Tom says write down your close friends. Look at how many of them are positive, neutral, or negative. Make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with positive people, those who will challenge you and hold you accountable because they want to be accountable to their big goals, too. Neutral people are the ones who YOU may be able to help, whose neutral mindset may be able to shift more toward the positive because you’re in their lives. Negative people have negative mindsets. As the saying goes, being positive works most of the time, being negative works 100% of the time.

Know your why. In a recent blog, Tom asks an important question: Why do most people quit? Why do most people break their own promises and commitments? If you ask them, they often have many reasons why they couldn’t do something; it was a one-off. It doesn’t matter. I didn’t have time. I didn’t think I could. They justify these actions and move on, OK with the fact that their life is not being lived at full potential. Tom says, “I would argue that the real case for a life, a life at level 10 is to find that one reason why … that one driving force … that one thing that just aligns you.” It’s what, Tom explains, makes you a person of your word, a leader others can rely on. I’ve long believed that your word is your bond, and this includes the words you speak to yourself. You can read these words now and reflect on the calls you didn’t make, the deals you didn’t get, the appointments you didn’t book OR you can focus on your one reason why, and use that to propel you forward, to make the calls you said you would, to do the things you need to do to become the person, leader and human being you want to be. Your reason will determine your action. It will allow you to follow through and, as Tom says, have a life by design instead of a life by default.

So, what’s the message? For this one, it’s easy: gratitude. Thank you, Tom, for being a leader by example, someone who not only delivers sage advice but also lives by that advice every single day.

Leadership Lessons from Neil deGrasse Tyson

By Gino Blefari:

On this blog, I want to do something different and take you on my own personal journey. When I first got into real estate, my new job was complemented by my ever-present craving for learning, and it served me well as I began my career. With a Wildly Important Goal to know as much about real estate as possible, I listened to every single real estate trainer I could think of – Mike Ferry, Floyd Wickman, Tommy Hopkins. Any sales trainer for real estate out there at the time was on my radar … and my reading list. I even memorized purchase contracts and every one of the forms there were, because I knew to succeed in the industry, I had to commit those to memory.

The next frontier in my life was an obsession with what makes people successful. I studied Earl Nightingale, Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn, Anthony Robbins, anyone who taught success.

Then, I was obsessed with leadership, so I read everything I could on leadership and studied all the great leaders – Presidents, Jack Welch, Lee Iacocca, Tom Peters, John Maxwell, Harvey Mackay, Warren Buffett, any of the great leaders and executives.

From there, I was moved to grow my spiritual side. I listened to everything and read everything Deepak Chopra ever published, and studied the likes of Wayne Dyer, and read the Bible from front to back.

In 2019, an article in The Wall Street Journal about the day the dinosaurs died sparked my next obsession and I became enraptured with dinosaurs, learning as much as I could about them, which led me to the cosmos and the universe and how the universe works. This search is how I ultimately came to discover Neil deGrasse Tyson, American astrophysicist, planetary scientist, author and science communicator, who studied at Harvard, University of Texas at Austin, Columbia University and Princeton University. He eventually became the director of the Hayden Planetarium and oversaw an extensive renovation of the famed NYC landmark. He is a prolific author, penning such bestsellers as “Astrophysics for People in a Hurry,” and “Letters from an Astrophysicist.”  He also rebooted the TV series “Cosmos,” which was originally hosted by his mentor, famed astronomer, Carl Sagan.

One of my favorite Neil Degrasse Tyson videos is called “What Is the Cosmic Calendar?” where Tyson explains the vastness of time by taking all of time from the birth of the Universe to this very second, compressing it into a single calendar year. On that scale, each month is more than 1 billion years, and each day is about 40 million years. 437.5 years pass by every second. January 1 is the birth of the universe, The Big Bang. January 22, the first galaxies form. March 15, the Milky Way begins to form. The sun, our star, was born on August 31. Jupiter and the other planets, including our own, followed soon after. On September 21, tiny creatures found a way to live in the ocean. Some time on December 26, the first mammals occurred. December 30, non-avian dinosaurs go extinct. (Watch the full video here. But I encourage you to read Tyson’s books and for even more fascinating insights into the Universe.)

A brilliant educator, Neil Degrasse Tyson is a leader who has inspired so many to think above and beyond, breaking limits even the sky cannot contain. Here are three leadership lessons we can learn from Tyson:

Your true impact on the world is not about what people remember you teaching them; it’s about the tools and processes you instill in your team to allow them to think in new ways. Tyson says that he wants his lasting impact on the world to be that people are empowered by his teachings in such a way that they no longer think of him when they think about how he has changed how they process ideas. Instead, they have a whole new basis of understanding how the world works. “I become irrelevant,” Tyson says. Instead of teaching with authority – do this, say that – he wants to teach with foundational values, laying the groundwork for the way his “students” approach the world. “Then they can run off and don’t even look back,” he explains. Because they now have a whole new level of hunger with the tools and methods to feed that hunger, which Tyson, even if they don’t realize it, made available to them. On his tombstone, Tyson wants his epitaph to read: “To be ashamed to die until you have scored some victory for humanity.” He says he doesn’t need statues or awards; he just wants the world to be a little better off for him having lived in it. This is why Tyson says to give with no expectation, because it is not about the giving, it is about the impact you can make on others through the act of your particular, unique gift.

You have the power to add meaning to your life. Meaning is not found, it is created. Tyson says some people think that the search for meaning in life is about looking under a rock or behind a tree but he says, “You have more power than that. You have the power to create meaning in your life rather than passively look for it.” But what is meaning for Tyson? It is defined by answering the question: Do I know more about the world today than I knew yesterday? He says it’s about using the powers and capabilities available to you to add value to the lives of others, to decrease their suffering and increase their joy.

Small gestures yield big results, and it is your obligation as a leader to fulfill them when you can. As you go through your day, Tyson says to ask yourself if there is a small gesture you can do that will add value to someone’s life. Maybe it takes 10 minutes from your day but if it means bringing happiness, enlightenment, fulfillment, or easing pain in the lives of others, he calls it “irresponsible” not to do that. We describe these as “small wins,” which are exactly what they sound like and are a part of how keystone habits create widespread changes. A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power, an influence disproportionate to the accomplishments of the victories themselves. Small wins are a steady application of a small advantage. Once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion that favor another small win. Small wins fuel transformative changes by leveraging tiny advantages into patterns that convince people that bigger achievements are within reach.

So, what’s the message? Tyson says almost 80% of what he does as a leader to educate the public is driven by duty, and not ambition. If there’s something he can do better than others that will create positive change in society, as a leader, he has a duty to get that done. And as leaders, so do we.

Thoughts on Leadership: An InvalYOUable Trip to Louisville

By Gino Blefari

This week my travels found me in Louisville, Kentucky for the Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Sales Convention. Each year, our outstanding events team – led by Vice President of Global Conference & Meeting Services Denise Doyle and the team at Corporate Magic, including the incomparable CEO Jim Kirk – selects a theme, and for 2022 the theme was InvalYOUable. Yes, spelled just like that because at the end of the day, the value you bring to your organization, your clients, your colleagues, and the people in your life is highly individualized, a reflection of your unique experiences, skills, talent, determination and ability to inspire others to achieve their goals faster than they would in your absence. In my life plan, under my role, I have the affirmation: I am a highly disciplined focused leader. I understand my income is a measure of the value I bring to the marketplace.

As I sat in General Sessions, attended networking events, and met with attendees, there are three leaders whose InvalYOUable characteristics shined so bright, I just have to highlight them in our blog post today.

Let’s start with Christy Budnick, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices. From Christy, we learn the power of optimism. Spend 30 seconds around Christy and you’ll understand how infectious her positivity truly is; she lights up a room and when she delivered her keynote at General Session for the first time this year as Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices CEO, her optimism took center stage. Christy is also coachable, she learned from the best: her mother, Linda Sherrer. Linda is founder and chair of Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Florida Network Realty. She has been an iconic force in real estate for decades and still is today. From Christy, we also learn the importance of being in the trenches, comprehending the complexities of an industry before you lead it to even bigger and better ways of operating. Christy has been there. A seasoned agent, manager, CEO, she gets real estate because she’s one of us. And that’s a trait we can all learn from and admire.

From keynote speaker Jade Simmons, we learn the power of your personal journey to create breakthroughs in your life. Jade began her presentation playing (no slaying) on a grand piano, as only a professional concert pianist (who played renowned halls including those at the White House and U.S. Supreme Court) could. Jade’s original vision was to be a classical pianist, a life of Rachmaninoff, and said it would sound something like this. On cue, her hands flew across the piano keys in perfect rhythm and mesmerizing crescendos, and we were moved not only by her words but also by the messages she conveyed through her music. Jade explained that she finally came to realize life didn’t have to be one thing or the other, all classics, all day. She played another tune that skillfully combined classical with modern, rhythmic beats, and she told us there is great power in embracing the things we cannot change because those are the things that make you, YOU. Jade understood being a Black female made her distinctive in the classical music world. She also understood that her profound love of rhythm was another opportunity for a breakthrough. Somewhere between her classical journey and combining it with rhythmic excellence, Jade found a photo of herself as a little girl, sitting in diapers playing the African bongos. It was this nostalgic visual that reminded her why she kept coming back to drum lines and beats; rhythm had been a part of her all along. Instead of trying to go the purely classical route, she instead embraced this unique facet of her passions and expanded the once-tight vision she had of how she must succeed. Immediately, everything changed. She did not, as she says, compartmentalize her brilliance, she instead took every extraordinary part of her and used that to find her next breakthrough.

Finally, last but certainly not least, from keynote speaker Magie Cook we learn about perseverance, forgiveness, and mindful success, and even learned the day she delivered her keynote was also her birthday. (The crowd of course sang to her.) It’s funny when I first read the description of Magie Cook before I had the opportunity to hear her speak, I imagined she might be very tall. In high school, Magie had an opportunity to play basketball for the Mexican National Team, until a broken collarbone left her sidelined. Next, she got a scholarship to play for the University of Charleston. So, was Magie a towering 6’3”? Nope. When I saw her in person, she was actually 5’2”, and once you hear her speak, it all makes sense. Magie is fierce. She’s got incredible grit. She grew up one of 68 children in a Mexican orphanage, doing construction work, gathering soil and hunting for her own food at a very early age. She practiced basketball with another orphan (found in a dumpster as a baby). She ran drills blindfolded and was so good her orphan brother thought she could surely see where she was going. Not even something fundamental like height could stop Magie from basketball greatness. She was unstoppable because she had the mindset of a champion. Either life controls you, or you take control of your life, she says. Even when she was homeless after college, living in the streets and in the woods, it didn’t stop her from pursuing her dreams. (She says she didn’t even notice she was homeless because she had grown up much the same way.) As a gift, some friends gave her $800 and she entered a salsa competition, unanimously winning. That one win would turn into an idea for a salsa business that would eventually see her product available in 38 states, major supermarkets and sold to Campbell’s in a multi-million-dollar deal. When she came out to her father, he told her she’d never amount to anything. That she’d wind up in jail with AIDS. She took his cruel words and used them as fuel. (As she says, “If anything can stop you, nothing can stop you.”) She wanted to show her father she would make it, she would succeed and even read a letter her father wrote her years after those terrible words were spoken, where he expressed how proud he was of her. When she read the letter, there wasn’t a dry eye in the Sales Convention house. We were moved by the acceptance in his words, and by the fact that we all know the ending to her story – she did it, she found success despite everything and in her determination to succeed against prejudice, bias, homelessness, poverty and insurmountable odds, we realized that we can do it, too.

So, what’s the message? Christy, Jade and Magie all share one thing in common: their success is the result of their unique attributes, those special traits that make them the incredible leaders they are today. They know their value with absolute conviction and use it to show others just how InvalYOUable they can be.

Thoughts on Leadership: Celebrating Women’s History Month

By Gino Blefari

This week my travels found me starting Monday at home, participating in WIG calls. On Tuesday, I participated virtually in the Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New Jersey Properties Pinnacle Awards Event, led by New Jersey Properties Chairman and CEO Bill Keleher. On Wednesday, I joined meetings, prepared for today and am writing this as I fly to Louisville, KY for the Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Sales Convention.

March is Women’s History Month and if you’re looking for a place to be inspired by incredible, trailblazing women leaders, “Women Who Lead,” the video series (and now podcast) from HomeServices of America’s Chief Diversity Equity and Inclusion Officer Teresa Palacios Smith is an excellent place to start.

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Thoughts on Leadership: Willie and Billy (An Unexpected Story You’ll Want to Read)

By Gino Blefari

This week my travels found me starting at home on Monday taking my typical WIG calls. On Tuesday, I participated in the weekly Berkshire Hathaway Energy call and on Wednesday I participated in the celebration and launch event for Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Jordan Baris Realty. I also spent the week reading over and rehearsing for the upcoming Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Sales Convention 2022 in Louisville.

Whenever I write these posts, I always receive incredible replies but when the last post about Willie Mays, written in celebration of Black History Month, was sent into the world, I received a response from William “Billy” Knox at Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties that I just had to share.

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